You Just Can't Sugarcoat Crap
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 09:41PM
Bojacob in Humor, Stories, Stuff

Receptionist:  Yes, the dentist will see you very soon

Her voice was melodic, almost as if she was giving out a present to a kid.

I sat down on one of the comfy white chairs in the brilliant white room.  The taste in design was surprisingly exquisite.  Perhaps there's something to this Asnan Clinic after all.  Neon lights were tucked in behind ledges so they stay unseen, and the lights change colors from blue, to green, to red, to violet, etc.  This was all topped off by white iMacs around the room.  They have WindowsXP installed, which sucks, but you can't expect a clinic to work on MacOS sadly.  Ah well.

I was quite relaxed.  The environment was soothing and peaceful.  I even forgot I was at a dentist!

Doctor:  Is Mr. Bojacob here?

Receptionist:  He's sitting over there.

Turning towards me was a doctor with a wide smile on his face.  His white uniform worked quite well with the environment, as I couldn't tell if he was floating or not.  Running behind him was his assistant, a tiny angel that almost has wings on her back.  I smiled wide and forgot all my dentist concerns.  Both walked towards me and I could almost imagine white pigeons flying out of their clothes.

Assistant:  Please follow me.

Me:  m'kay!

And so I followed the angels from heaven to their playhouse.  They couldn't possibly hurt me.

I walked inside and sat down in the white dentist chair.  Everything was white in here too, along with the color-changing neon lights.  I am so lucky...

Drill:  whirrrrrr.... whirrrrr...

I am .. lucky?

Doctor:  Assistant?

Assistant simply stares at my open mouth.  What was that gleam in her eyes?

Doctor:  Assistant!

She snaps out of it

Assistant:  Sorry, yes?

The doctor smiled as if he knew something.

Doctor:  Let us begin.  Hand it to me.

Assistant:  You mean....?

Doctor:  Yes .. the BANJ!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

Me:  Oh shit...

Doctor:  YEHAAH!  HERE WE GO!

Me: OH SHIT!

Assistant:  DO IT!  DO IT NOW!!

Doctor:  AAHAHAHAH IN YOU GO MR NEEDLE!!!

Me:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Doctor:  OH MR BOJACOB YOU ARE ALREADY A FAVORITE OF MINE NOW!  LET ME INTRODUCE MY LITTLE FRIEND!!

Me:  oh god no..no not the DRILL NNOOAAAAAARGH!!!!

Drill:  WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! GNAWWWGNAWWW

Me:  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

Assistant:  YOU MISSED A SPOT YOU MISSED A SPOT!!

Doctor:  YOUR EYES!!!  THEY ARE SO WELL TRAINED!!  YES!  THIS IS WHAT I'D EXPECT FROM MY SITH APPRENTICE!!

Me:  What?  wtf ... OUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!

 

 

God damn it all :(

Article originally appeared on Bojacob's Den (http://www.bojacob.net/).
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